Shared Decisions

Ed Young Jr tells us if permission is not granted, she will wait for you to come home.  Then she asks the very same request.   When she admits that her mommy said no, Dad, that is the moment of truth.  If you cater to her, you are messing up.  You are totally taking apart the unity of your coaching staff.  You need to present a unified front.  You and your spouse need to have shared decisions.  Now if it is something that you want to discuss, you can say to your daughter she must wait for an answer until after you to talk with her mother.  Then huddle with your spouse concerning the situation.  But make sure that you present balance and unity.  If you don’t, you are setting yourself for major, major problems.

Although it is hard to do, you have got to apologize to your children when you mess up.  We may go too far or not far enough.  A lot of times we get it right, I think most of the times we do.  But now and then we are going to mess up.  Ask your children for forgiveness when you have gone too far.  They know you have messed up.  They are just waiting, wondering if Dad and Mom will come clean.

The Rebellious Toddler

Extra curricular activities are cool and fine. However, we’re going to find out, parents, we have to discover what our kids like and applaud that and coach them.  We can’t force our agenda on them. 

But so often, I see so many students involved in all these activities. And if you ask them this, “Do you really like what you’re doing?  Who were you doing this for?”  if they’re open and honest with you, more often than not, they’ll say, “You know, I’m doing it for Dad.  I’m doing it for Mom.” 

Who sets up all the leagues?  Adults.  Who sets up all the tournaments?  Adults.  Who sets up all the games?  Adults.  And so often, kids play for them.  Not in every case, but in many cases.  The cheese popcorn parent.  Cheesy.  Over the top. 

How about the buttered popcorn?  Man, I always like buttered popcorn.  The buttered popcorn parent is the one who doesn’t really know the roles.  The roles are slippery and greasy and no one really knows where they’re to go and what they’re to do and who’s saying what and who’s doing what. And parents aren’t really leading in the buttered popcorn family.  Again, the goal is not to be liked. It’s to lead. 

Ed Young Jr. says that last night I came home from our second service and walked up to the twin’s room and almost fell down when I walked out of the room.  And I looked on my shoe, and believe it or not, “Look, popcorn again!” 

Buttered popcorn will mess you up.  It’s greasy, it’s slippery and it’s causing a lot of people to fall and to tumble from the position they should have.  Are you into buttered popcorn? 

So many of us have bought into the lie.  The lie started, oh, four or five decades ago.  It said that everybody’s equal in the family unit, you know. It’s a democracy. 

It sounds so hip, so vogue.  “Everybody’s opinion is valid.  So what your teenager wants to do is what your teenager should do.  And what your child wants to do is what your child should do.  So what we should do, as parents is crawl into the playpen and reason with the rebellious toddler.  Or jump into the car with a 16 year old and say, ‘You know what, whatever is true to you is true to you.  Let’s discuss discipline.  Give me your opinion.’”